The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
