well most of my day revolves around power hour
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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