If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I love you. Go after that dick
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
