She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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