Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
