hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
