i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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