Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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