PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
