We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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