The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
