i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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