he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize