How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
