wat bout pragnant strippers??
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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