we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
