Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize