He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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