I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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