even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
