He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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