Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
