You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
