Where is the hickey?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
