White coat. Heels.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
