can we get nightvision for the apartment?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
