If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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