When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
