Swine flu is the new snow day.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Green mimosas i think yes
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
