party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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