a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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