I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
