So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize