Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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