You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
