the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
