kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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