just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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