i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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