i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
