I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize