just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
