Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
