i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
