Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
