2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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