I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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