North Korea, Best Korea!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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