That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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