i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize