I wish I could teleport
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
