Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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