i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize