i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
