Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
