Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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