I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
