I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
