Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
