if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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