I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
