YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
