I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
