That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I CAN MOONWALK!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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