I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
