i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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