Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
