Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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