He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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