We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
